TYPES OF CAREGIVING

It's the fourth episode of maternal mental Tuesday, and this week I spent few minutes desribing different types of care giving and which one leaves your child securely attached to the environment or you. Click here to watch this week's episode.

AFTER A THREE MONTHS BREAK

When I thought about how long i have stayed away from posting, it got me broken. I never knew I could stay away for this long from my first love, although the xceptional women conference in July (which was really worthwhile) and the three weeks old video series I started and a few other things I have been doing should have been the reason, but no exexuse, I am not supposed to abandon my first love, I cherish this blog so much and I am committed to the well being and rights of women, the more reason I cannot stop writing to assist women's health and well being. I am posting to officially inform you that i have started a video series on mental health during and after pregnancy and from next week Tuesday you will be getting links of the video, to assist you during your perinatal life, I really hope that the topics and tips I will be sharing on the videos you will find it insightful and helpful during your perinatal life, all I want is a long term better outcome for your infant and you.

CHAMP XCEPTIONAL WOMEN CONFERENCE 2016

For the passion of change

The month of May, I believe was the most unforgettable experience for most youths who strife to make impactful change about the rights and health of Girls and women all over the world. Yes It was an opportunity to learn more about how to make the sustainable development goals count.
it could have only been the passion for change that induced the founder and CEO of Women deliver (Jill Sheffield and katja Iversen) to think it right to have the gathering of over 5,700 participants with over 1000 youth participants fully sponsorsed to talk and learn new ways to make the rights and well being of girls matter more in their different communities. For me it was an overwhelming experience; I can literally say that I was in awe of the opportunity I received to be part of this global event which was named the largest gathering of the world on the rights and well being of girls and women.
Meeting new friends who share my passion was so incredible for me; I was glad to realize that I have platforms established by young Nigerians where I could work with to promote the health and well being of Girls and women in Nigeria.
With over 1000 plenary sessions at the women deliver 2016, the new friends made, contacts made, and the exposure to global ideas; I will like to say that,the passion for change inside of me came fully alive, I will not be wrong to say that I have fire in my bones to work to see the change I want to see in the life of girls and women especially preventing of mental health problems women face during and after pregnancy.
For the Change we want to see; Jill and Katja,
we will work hard to make sure that the opportunity you gave us was worth it.
Let's go deliver for good!!!!

The Sexual Violence Survivour "It's okay to be one"

We have all had reasons to survive one situation or the other, ranging from having to deal with that financial bankruptcy to that repeated emotional conflicts and so on. But today I will be focusing on those who survived sexual violence. If you have ever suffered sexual violence then this must have been your case as defined by Google; "Sexual violence is defined as a sexual act committed against someone without that person's freely given consent. Sexual violence is divided into the following types: Completed or attempted forced penetration of a victim. Completed or attempted alcohol/drug-facilitated penetration of a victim." looking at this definition, there are two intersting words I appreciate most there, these words are: "Consent" and "Forced" This invariably means that if there was no consent, it was a forced act on the victim, which leads me to clearly state here that; whoever the perpertuator of sexual Violence is, Should have all the guilt and all the blame, because He is the one,acting out of character and Lacking self discipline 
Research has shown that 95% of sexual Violence cases are usually found against women and most, if not all of them have to live with the painful memory for year, probably feeling guilty and having this attitude of "lt was all my fault, I got into this mess." But today, I join ANGELINA JOLIE who spoke at the End Sexual Violence in Conflicts Summit in London, England when she stated,"We must send a message around the world that there is no disgrace in being a survivor of sexual 
violence, that the shame is on the aggressor."
If you survived sexual Violence, there is no disgrace in it, speak up to encourage others out there who might not think it's ok to share their experience with someone who can help, bear in mind that when you speak to someone who can help, then you are sure you have helped yourself out of living in guilt and pity.
You could Speak to someone you trust, Maybe even a Life Coach, or a Physcologist.

Photo from Women's Right News

Join the Campaign; "let's promote women well being"

 

Writing this today, gives me so much joy, I'm glad that we have men who speak up for women, supporting their cause against sexual abuse and other issues. Today I choose to share a well written article a male friend of mine, Orok Duke, who took out time to share his views about the ongoing Queen's college story of a young girl that was sexually abused by her teacher in school and other societal pressures placed on women, Below is Orok's thoughts which I will encourage everyone to speak up about;

Nigerian men (sometimes me) act like the world (read all women) owes them something. We have this entitled view of ourselves that tells us that all women are put here to serve us in one way or the other.

That is the reason we feel offended when a woman says NO to us. That is why we see clear videos of men raping women and we call the girl a slut. That is why we hear a girl tell you she was raped and the first question you ask is "What were you doing there?". That is why we shame divorced or unmarried women and make them feel like nothing until they find someone who can marry them. It does not matter whatever a woman accomplishes, it means nothing until she finds a man. This is why a Senator can pick a girl bride and half of us condemn it but still keep "smallies" that we know deep down is as illegal and immoral as whatever the Senator is doing.

This is why this Queens College issue does not surprise me, we've all had a teacher like that who abused his privilege. We've cheered him on and most have tried to excuse him and continue with our ritual of victim blaming. It does not matter that people have been accusing him of the same crime for years, we still go ahead ignore it. We've packaged the same victims of the abuse and told them to get in formation holding placards in support of the said abuser.

A society who cannot stand and afford basic human rights and I mean the base of basic rights to girls cannot claim to be civilised. We cannot pay lip service to women's rights and then wonder why politicians do the same to our other rights. I'll say this to all the Nigerian men reading this. THERE IS NOTHING SCARY ABOUT EMPOWERED WOMEN.

And to those men who will come at me saying "not all men" "you're generalising". First of all, this doesn't concern you and if you think it does, I'll tell you why... It's because you know guys, your friends, your family members, who this concerns, please talk to them. If we can't let women talk without shutting them up, then someone has to talk about it, right now it's me, in the next moment please let it be you. If you don't feel the need to do so, that's also fine but if you can't deny that this in fact a problem with a straight face, then don't try and shut me up.

Image from :http://www.coe.int/en/web/commissioner/-/zero-tolerance-for-sexual-abuse-of-childr-1?inheritRedirect=true

IT'S ANOTHER INTERNATIONAL WOMEN'S DAY #IWD2016

In the month of march,the world celebrates women all over the world, on this day some organizations show love to women by giving out gifts to women, Some men show love to the women in their lifes, by giving them a treat and some even get expensive gifts for them, all these are appreciated.
But on this year's international women day i want men to know that every woman out there will appreciate it more:
*if men who respect women challenges other men to do same
*If they are not marginalized in the society and at work
*If they don't suffer gender based violence
*If they are empowered.

On this special day our blog is committed to celebrating every woman out there striving to effect change in their space, our past heroines who made history in their vocations, every past mother,every living mother on earth who has shown commitment in this motherhood journey which is most often not appreciated, we celebrate you and we pray grace for you to keep breaking rocks even harder ones, fufiling every thing that Your creator (God) has called you to be.
God Bless all Women.,