Writing this today, gives me so much joy, I'm glad that we have men who speak up for women, supporting their cause against sexual abuse and other issues. Today I choose to share a well written article a male friend of mine, Orok Duke, who took out time to share his views about the ongoing Queen's college story of a young girl that was sexually abused by her teacher in school and other societal pressures placed on women, Below is Orok's thoughts which I will encourage everyone to speak up about;
Nigerian men (sometimes me) act like the world (read all women) owes them something. We have this entitled view of ourselves that tells us that all women are put here to serve us in one way or the other.
That is the reason we feel offended when a woman says NO to us. That is why we see clear videos of men raping women and we call the girl a slut. That is why we hear a girl tell you she was raped and the first question you ask is "What were you doing there?". That is why we shame divorced or unmarried women and make them feel like nothing until they find someone who can marry them. It does not matter whatever a woman accomplishes, it means nothing until she finds a man. This is why a Senator can pick a girl bride and half of us condemn it but still keep "smallies" that we know deep down is as illegal and immoral as whatever the Senator is doing.
This is why this Queens College issue does not surprise me, we've all had a teacher like that who abused his privilege. We've cheered him on and most have tried to excuse him and continue with our ritual of victim blaming. It does not matter that people have been accusing him of the same crime for years, we still go ahead ignore it. We've packaged the same victims of the abuse and told them to get in formation holding placards in support of the said abuser.
A society who cannot stand and afford basic human rights and I mean the base of basic rights to girls cannot claim to be civilised. We cannot pay lip service to women's rights and then wonder why politicians do the same to our other rights. I'll say this to all the Nigerian men reading this. THERE IS NOTHING SCARY ABOUT EMPOWERED WOMEN.
And to those men who will come at me saying "not all men" "you're generalising". First of all, this doesn't concern you and if you think it does, I'll tell you why... It's because you know guys, your friends, your family members, who this concerns, please talk to them. If we can't let women talk without shutting them up, then someone has to talk about it, right now it's me, in the next moment please let it be you. If you don't feel the need to do so, that's also fine but if you can't deny that this in fact a problem with a straight face, then don't try and shut me up.
Image from :http://www.coe.int/en/web/commissioner/-/zero-tolerance-for-sexual-abuse-of-childr-1?inheritRedirect=true
