TYPES OF CAREGIVING

It's the fourth episode of maternal mental Tuesday, and this week I spent few minutes desribing different types of care giving and which one leaves your child securely attached to the environment or you. Click here to watch this week's episode.

AFTER A THREE MONTHS BREAK

When I thought about how long i have stayed away from posting, it got me broken. I never knew I could stay away for this long from my first love, although the xceptional women conference in July (which was really worthwhile) and the three weeks old video series I started and a few other things I have been doing should have been the reason, but no exexuse, I am not supposed to abandon my first love, I cherish this blog so much and I am committed to the well being and rights of women, the more reason I cannot stop writing to assist women's health and well being. I am posting to officially inform you that i have started a video series on mental health during and after pregnancy and from next week Tuesday you will be getting links of the video, to assist you during your perinatal life, I really hope that the topics and tips I will be sharing on the videos you will find it insightful and helpful during your perinatal life, all I want is a long term better outcome for your infant and you.

CHAMP XCEPTIONAL WOMEN CONFERENCE 2016

For the passion of change

The month of May, I believe was the most unforgettable experience for most youths who strife to make impactful change about the rights and health of Girls and women all over the world. Yes It was an opportunity to learn more about how to make the sustainable development goals count.
it could have only been the passion for change that induced the founder and CEO of Women deliver (Jill Sheffield and katja Iversen) to think it right to have the gathering of over 5,700 participants with over 1000 youth participants fully sponsorsed to talk and learn new ways to make the rights and well being of girls matter more in their different communities. For me it was an overwhelming experience; I can literally say that I was in awe of the opportunity I received to be part of this global event which was named the largest gathering of the world on the rights and well being of girls and women.
Meeting new friends who share my passion was so incredible for me; I was glad to realize that I have platforms established by young Nigerians where I could work with to promote the health and well being of Girls and women in Nigeria.
With over 1000 plenary sessions at the women deliver 2016, the new friends made, contacts made, and the exposure to global ideas; I will like to say that,the passion for change inside of me came fully alive, I will not be wrong to say that I have fire in my bones to work to see the change I want to see in the life of girls and women especially preventing of mental health problems women face during and after pregnancy.
For the Change we want to see; Jill and Katja,
we will work hard to make sure that the opportunity you gave us was worth it.
Let's go deliver for good!!!!

The Sexual Violence Survivour "It's okay to be one"

We have all had reasons to survive one situation or the other, ranging from having to deal with that financial bankruptcy to that repeated emotional conflicts and so on. But today I will be focusing on those who survived sexual violence. If you have ever suffered sexual violence then this must have been your case as defined by Google; "Sexual violence is defined as a sexual act committed against someone without that person's freely given consent. Sexual violence is divided into the following types: Completed or attempted forced penetration of a victim. Completed or attempted alcohol/drug-facilitated penetration of a victim." looking at this definition, there are two intersting words I appreciate most there, these words are: "Consent" and "Forced" This invariably means that if there was no consent, it was a forced act on the victim, which leads me to clearly state here that; whoever the perpertuator of sexual Violence is, Should have all the guilt and all the blame, because He is the one,acting out of character and Lacking self discipline 
Research has shown that 95% of sexual Violence cases are usually found against women and most, if not all of them have to live with the painful memory for year, probably feeling guilty and having this attitude of "lt was all my fault, I got into this mess." But today, I join ANGELINA JOLIE who spoke at the End Sexual Violence in Conflicts Summit in London, England when she stated,"We must send a message around the world that there is no disgrace in being a survivor of sexual 
violence, that the shame is on the aggressor."
If you survived sexual Violence, there is no disgrace in it, speak up to encourage others out there who might not think it's ok to share their experience with someone who can help, bear in mind that when you speak to someone who can help, then you are sure you have helped yourself out of living in guilt and pity.
You could Speak to someone you trust, Maybe even a Life Coach, or a Physcologist.

Photo from Women's Right News

Join the Campaign; "let's promote women well being"

 

Writing this today, gives me so much joy, I'm glad that we have men who speak up for women, supporting their cause against sexual abuse and other issues. Today I choose to share a well written article a male friend of mine, Orok Duke, who took out time to share his views about the ongoing Queen's college story of a young girl that was sexually abused by her teacher in school and other societal pressures placed on women, Below is Orok's thoughts which I will encourage everyone to speak up about;

Nigerian men (sometimes me) act like the world (read all women) owes them something. We have this entitled view of ourselves that tells us that all women are put here to serve us in one way or the other.

That is the reason we feel offended when a woman says NO to us. That is why we see clear videos of men raping women and we call the girl a slut. That is why we hear a girl tell you she was raped and the first question you ask is "What were you doing there?". That is why we shame divorced or unmarried women and make them feel like nothing until they find someone who can marry them. It does not matter whatever a woman accomplishes, it means nothing until she finds a man. This is why a Senator can pick a girl bride and half of us condemn it but still keep "smallies" that we know deep down is as illegal and immoral as whatever the Senator is doing.

This is why this Queens College issue does not surprise me, we've all had a teacher like that who abused his privilege. We've cheered him on and most have tried to excuse him and continue with our ritual of victim blaming. It does not matter that people have been accusing him of the same crime for years, we still go ahead ignore it. We've packaged the same victims of the abuse and told them to get in formation holding placards in support of the said abuser.

A society who cannot stand and afford basic human rights and I mean the base of basic rights to girls cannot claim to be civilised. We cannot pay lip service to women's rights and then wonder why politicians do the same to our other rights. I'll say this to all the Nigerian men reading this. THERE IS NOTHING SCARY ABOUT EMPOWERED WOMEN.

And to those men who will come at me saying "not all men" "you're generalising". First of all, this doesn't concern you and if you think it does, I'll tell you why... It's because you know guys, your friends, your family members, who this concerns, please talk to them. If we can't let women talk without shutting them up, then someone has to talk about it, right now it's me, in the next moment please let it be you. If you don't feel the need to do so, that's also fine but if you can't deny that this in fact a problem with a straight face, then don't try and shut me up.

Image from :http://www.coe.int/en/web/commissioner/-/zero-tolerance-for-sexual-abuse-of-childr-1?inheritRedirect=true

IT'S ANOTHER INTERNATIONAL WOMEN'S DAY #IWD2016

In the month of march,the world celebrates women all over the world, on this day some organizations show love to women by giving out gifts to women, Some men show love to the women in their lifes, by giving them a treat and some even get expensive gifts for them, all these are appreciated.
But on this year's international women day i want men to know that every woman out there will appreciate it more:
*if men who respect women challenges other men to do same
*If they are not marginalized in the society and at work
*If they don't suffer gender based violence
*If they are empowered.

On this special day our blog is committed to celebrating every woman out there striving to effect change in their space, our past heroines who made history in their vocations, every past mother,every living mother on earth who has shown commitment in this motherhood journey which is most often not appreciated, we celebrate you and we pray grace for you to keep breaking rocks even harder ones, fufiling every thing that Your creator (God) has called you to be.
God Bless all Women.,

#ISUPPORTEXCLUSIVEBREASTFEEDING

I am sharing this wounderful piece from Mothersbond and I hope it will be helpful to women who wish to practise exclusive Breastfeeding. Before you read the piece let be kindly correct the popular believes; I am made to believe that some women think it is not right to extract milk. They even think it is only women who are lazy to breastfeed that need breast pumps. Whereas breast pumps makes it easy for women to breastfeed exclusively because you can continue your work and still make sure your baby gets the full nutrition on breast milk. Another popular believe is the myth that breast pumps make your breast sag or in extreme cases that it could cause breast cancer. These are unfounded myths which are spread by people who have never used a breast pump before. Saying a breast pump causes cancer is worse than saying mobile phones cause cancers too. They are not true. 

How to Store BreastMilk for your baby.

There are several reasons why a mom may have to extract milk from herself and then store it. Sometimes, baby is a preemie (born before the expected delivery date) and in the NICU. It could also be that baby is having problem latching on, or mommy is having problem/delay lactating (producing naturally), or mommy is injured/sore, or for some reason, mommy has to be away from the baby for a few hours or days and can’t take baby along. So in any of these circumstances, extracting using a pump becomes necessary. Here are six tips for milk storage.

1. If you're pumping to store for later, refrigerate pumped milk as soon as possible.
Milk, like all body fluids have a short life without preservation. If it’s not refrigerated immediately, it becomes sour and that would affect the taste; it could also affect your baby’s health and digestion. The milk could even start to smell. Now also bear in mind that refrigeration if not done immediately, there is no need doing so when you remember later. It’s better to extract another which you can now do the right thing.

2. Breastmilk can be stored in the refrigerator for 24 hours and in the freezer for up to 1 to 2 weeks. (Sometimes even up to months),
This is very important; for your baby’s’ best nutrition, you should store the milk in the refrigerator section for a maximum of 24 hours. If you have to extract for long periods, let them all be in the freezer and you take them out as the need arises. You should have several bottles or storage bags as the case may be. Anyone you bring out from the freezer can’t go back to the freezer after it melts. Dispose it if baby can’t finish it. So it’s best to know the quantity your baby consumes each time and make that the storage quantity you keep.

3. Do not Microwave the milk
After bringing out the milk from the freezer or refrigerator and it’s taking time to melt, the temptation comes to hasten things up and the microwave is one of the first places considered. This shouldn’t be. Please keep the milk at room temperature to allow it melt on its own. If you are worried that baby is crying because of hunger, then next time, be sure to calculate the time accordingly. Allow a few minutes for the milk to get to room temperature before baby’s feeding time.
For more information visit Motherbond

The Counsel (Rhesus incompatibility awarness)

So we are still on this matter?, yes...oh we are.
After the visit to primary health centres and a good number of one on one awarness about rhesus incompatibility, I realized that I still have alot of work to do. I came to this conclusion last week, after a couple walked in for a series of test. Here is the story:

This couple are in my office to do a series of fertility test recommended by a doctor whom they met and told about their infertility problem. As God would have it Blood grouping and genotype test were included. Just like the others, I gave it my best. The female turns out to be rhesus negative. At this point,they had left so i decided to wait until they return so we planned to counsel them and ask a couple of questions. The next day when they came to drop other samples I and my madam decided to let them know that their ordeal of infertility could be as a result of the lady's rhesus status since the man is rhesus positive, we asked;
Do you have miscarriages: she said yes,
have you had an abortion before she said yes;  that when she did that,She was not yet ready for the child and it was a mutual agreement by her and her husband.
We're you given anti D Shots within 72hrs after the abortion procedure; she answered No
After the interrogation it was clear this couple needed counsel about rhesus incompatibility.

Rhesus incompatibility happens when a rhesus negative mother is pregnant with a rhesus positive foetus. When this happens, it presents with miscarriages, and if the pregnancy sails throughh the child presents with haemolytic disease of the newborn, we do not want more of this happening, that is why I say often "Every woman deserve to have a healthy child at birth an not loose the child even before birth".
This is for everyone, kindly insist on the rhesus status of your spouse before marriage so that you both can take informed decisions on how to overcome rhesus incompatibility. And if you are already married, try to know the rhesus status of your spouse espicially if you are yet to have kids.

BREAST CANCER AWARNESS(TAKE ACTION)

One of the popular quotes for breast cancer says: "if women were more concerned about the health of their breast than the size of it, then there will take approaches to reduce the risk of breast cancer".
Breast cancer does not affect women with huge breast only, any woman is at risk of suffering breast cancer.
We have been told that cancer is the abnormal proliferation of cells, and breast cancer occurs when the cells that makes up the organ "Breast" begins to proliferate forming abnormal cells. This situation can affect any woman but women who have history of a family member who suffered breast cancer is more likely to come down with it, although there are some predisposing factors such as exposure to radioactive rays; history of chemotherapy, which might expose one to the risk of cancer, although over the years the cause of cancer generally has been said to be idiopathic (unknown).
The fair knowledge of how to self examine yourself as a woman for breast lumps is expedient because research has show that a greater number of people who survived breast cancer, we're diagnosed of it at it's early stage.
I am hoping that the outline shared below,can be useful in self examination for breast cancer, we are doing this not to put fear or fright in anyone but to help in fighting breast cancer; thus we join every other person out there who creates awarness on breast cancer to combat breast cancer to charge every woman to take action for the health of their breast, and not the size of it.

                                       OUTLINE
₩ Go in front of a mirror, without straps,Look out for a nipple that has changed position or is inverted(pushed inwards instead of sticking out), then place your arms on your hips,while raising your shoulder, look out for the usual size, Shape and colour of your breast,making sure that your breast is evenly shaped with no distortion or swelling. Look out for redness,soreness,rash, dimpling, puckering or bulging of the skin.

₩ The next thing to do while still standing in front of the mirror, is to raise your hands looking out for the same changes.

₩ keep your hands raised, while at this,look out for signs of fluid coming out of both nipples (This fluid can be watery, milky or yellowish in colour, or blood).

₩ lie upright,facing the ceiling, using your left hand to feel your right breast and vice versa, use a firm smooth touch with the first few fingers pad, keep the finger together move like in a circle,about the size of a quarter, with this movement cover the entire breast, from side to side, from the collar bone to the top of the abdomen, and from the armpit to the cleavage.

₩ Follow a pattern to be sure that you have covered the whole breast. You can begin at the nipple, moving in larger and larger circles until you get to the outer edge of the breast. Be sure to feel all the tissue from the front to the back of your breast; for the skin and tissue beneath, use light pressure; use medium pressure for tissue in the middle of your breast, use firm pressure for the deep tissue, you should be able to feel down to your ribcage.

₩ you might want to perform the next step while in the bathroom, with your skin wet and slippery while sitting or standing in front of the mirrow cover the entire breast using the same movement described on the 5th outline.

 If you notice any changes,kindly visit your doctor.

Now just in case you are among the people who believe and practise the popular saying "ignorant is bliss" that believe cannot be useful here because as I wrote above, the women who survived breast cancer, research has shown that the cancer was detected early.
 I will love to end this piece by celebrating everyone out there:
who are in this fight against breast cancer;
Those who survived breast cancer;
Those who are battling with breast cancer and
Those who have fallen and i pray Grace for the :

HISTORY MAKERS 2016

Happy New year guys, we have been favoured by God to see another fabulous year. I Thank God for those of us who made it to 2016, and I pray Grace for the families who grieved during this season. To those of us who made it, it goes to tell us that we still got work to do, there are problems to be solved, there is purpose to be fufilled, there is change to be made and history to be made by You if God spared you another year.
This write up is the first of its kind for this year on this wounderful blog. I got inspired to write this on my blog by Cindy Trim a woman of God who has decided to use her platform to encourage People to become history makers in this year 2016.
 History makers are those who solve the world's problem, it doesn't have to be a huge problem, you can just look around you and decide which problem you get angry about, I know that this blog is aimed at women well being, but since it is a new year I choose to charge my followers (male or female); choose to be a history Maker in that office, at home, in church among your peers, choose to be the reason someone out there didn't give up on life, start from the little corner you are, think positively, be the change you want to see, be that kindness you want to see in others, be that goal getter, bearing in mind that when your light touches my light that's enough light to take away the darkness in the world, you just have to light up that little light in your coner.
Now for my wounderful women, this year will do us great, refuse to be marginalized, refuse to take the back seat, be proactive, remember we are responsible for our health, therefore be such to take good care of yourself making sure that you eat right, take action in caring for the children God gave you, show love to your husband and never let bitterness take the better part of you this year, let this year be that year that you will make better choices.
I see us making history this year. Much love to everyone.